empty

It's hard not to feel empty when those same eyes that once looked at me as if I were made of entire galaxies now see right through me

You played me like I was one of your stupid video games..

and I lost

so I think a congratulations is in order

for you have won,

you've won this hell of a grudge

you've won all of the curse words I scream into the emptiness, as I sit

pretending that you are listening to each and every word that escapes me

this is for the you that I never fell in love with

the person you turned into.

and I'm holding my breath for you,

realizing that a "light year" is not a unit of length

but actually the spaces that keep me from those damn city lights on your skin

and you've left me feeling EMPTY

like all of my organs and bones have dissolved

like all the blood has drained from my veins.

There is an emptiness from when you'd keep me up past 3am.

You still keep me up sometimes

You brought me out of hell

just to throw me right back in again.

And that little taste of heaven, 

oh god,

that was you

I cannot sleep tonight

So now i walk around with caution tape tightly wrapped around my heart

and I'm having a hard time learning how to breathe again

my lungs ache

my limbs feel weak

You've left me trapped somewhere in this painful dance between a beautiful recovery and this need to just let go,

to let go and paint these empty streets with whatever is left of me

please, just let me sleep